Guide to a Less Stressful Construction Experience for Couples

Home construction is considered by many to be one of the most single stressful experiences a couple can experience. It’s not uncommon for disagreements to arise and relationships to be tested. Avoid the potential for conflict through preparation, communication, and teamwork.

Be Open & Honest
Build your foundation on your goal. Talk about what you both want from the renovation or new home. Discuss design preferences, potential impacts, and your budget. Think through details such as working from home, childcare, pets, and non-negotiables. This discussion should be on-going and will result in fewer miscommunications, hurt feelings, and stress later. “It is vital to establish a regular communication routine to check-in with your partner on everything from schedules and progress to budget and decisions,” says Marshall Hickox, President of Homeworks Construction.

Define Responsibilities
“‘I thought you were going to do that,’ is a phrase that you never want to hear a client say to their spouse during a meeting,” shares Hickox. Make a list of responsibilities before construction begins so your builder can help you understand what to expect. The basics include decision-making, financial management, and communication with contractors. Decide who will manage each phase. This ensures your contractor also understands whose lead to follow.

Photo: Courtesy of Homeworks Construction

The Budget
Create a detailed budget together and agree on spending limits for various aspects of construction. “If one partner splurges and repeatedly disregards the budget, it’s a recipe for disaster,” says Hickox. Unforeseen circumstances can arise despite the best planning, so be kind. “We want you to have the best experience. Any good contractor will work with you and provide options when the unexpected occurs,” says Hickox.

Flexible Calendar
Set realistic expectations for the construction timeline. Don’t plan to host the family reunion in July if you start renovations in May. Understand that delays may occur, and discuss how to manage potential setbacks. What would a setback mean for your family? Pets? Job? Be flexible and patient, recognizing that construction projects often take longer than anticipated.

Photo: Courtesy of Homeworks Construction

Go Pro!
Hire experienced building professionals. A professional team can help avoid misunderstandings and ensure quality work. “Hiring a family member or friend is going to lead to, ‘I told you so!’ so don’t do it,” says the Homeworks president. Ensure that both of you are comfortable with the company being hired and that it is a decision you both support.

Agree on the “Look”
Agree on the overall aesthetic and major design elements before construction begins. This reduces the likelihood of disagreements about the appearance of the finished project. Homeworks recommends a scaling test. “On a scale of 1-10 how important is this to you? Compare and make decisions accordingly.” Avoid making impulsive decisions without consulting each other, especially for significant design or budget changes.

Marshall Hickox, President Homeworks Construction (left) & Heather Hickox, Homeworks Project Manager (right)

Try to Relax
Recognize that compromises may be necessary. Be willing to find solutions that meet each of your needs and preferences. Make an effort to understand each other’s perspectives. “Our project and design team members are sometimes in a position to broker peace, though most often the couples can do it themselves if they are willing to find common ground,” shares Hickox.

Real Example
Marshall Hickox and his wife Heather (in the photo above) built their home together in 2004 and work together everyday designing and building homes at Homeworks Construction. They have been through it all. Effective communication, respect, and a willingness to collaborate are the keys to success. Keep this guide handy for your next project.

For more helpful insights from Homeworks Construction, check out their recent article, Hiring the Right Contractor at the Right Price.